Snap Judgments

We all make them, in a split second, unconsciously. Sometimes snap judgments are a good thing, as when we are facing danger of some sort. But more often than not, I think, snap judgments are ego-based criticisms of people. We size another person up within seconds and judge what s/he is like on appearance. And yes, our views can change, as we get to know someone. But first impressions--those snap judgments--often remain fixed.

I took the bus part way home yesterday, a few blocks on a busy route, one of the main routes in the city. Across the aisle from me were two middle-aged women, probably in their early to mid-50s. One was wearing a cute sleeveless shift, white with embroidery along the hem. This woman also happened to be quite chunky, with flabby arm skin that was hanging down more than six inches. More like eight. My first thought, my snap judgment, was that this woman should not be wearing anything sleeveless, that all the flab was disgusting and she obviously was clueless and tacky to be showing it off. (I do my best to hide my own!)

My second thought came as I overheard them talk about swimming, with the flabby woman being the swimmer of the two. And I realized that odds were high she's taken up swimming and has lost a lot of weight, hence the reason for the excessive arm flab. And that's she's likely feeling really good about her Self and her body now--rightly so.

It was a lesson for me to tune in to my inner dialogue a bit more, to become aware of the almost-instant (and probably almost always wrong) judgments I make of people and situations.

And you know what? Even if that woman hasn't lost weight recently, so what? She can wear whatever she pleases and all the more power to her if she is not so bound by rigid rules as to what's "appropriate" for her age group and body type as I am.