Musings on a Small Life

I hate soap operas. Really. Don't do drama. Correction: Don't want to do drama. So, I got home today and the mom was outside with the daughter and a friend of the daughter's. She said hi, asked to chat for a minute.  Oh, freaking great, I thought. She said she knew why I put a mirror on my door.  Oh, fucking great , I thought, Can I do nothing , living here, without everyone knowing what, when and why? Then she said that she had heard (today, I think) a kid down our street and/or its mother having a screaming fit (my words, I can't remember her words) and realized what I've had to listen to. She said she felt like such "a shit." !!! And I said that I've been creeping around because I'm so ashamed of my behaviour and feel awful. True, true, true. It's not the way I want to be, not what I want to model, how I want to live my life. Anyway, her daughter's friend interrupted and I had Nicki screaming at me from ...

Man oh man...I was upstairs around 6AM, mouth filled with Listerine, when I heard a kerfuffle out back. Thought I'd better check on the boys, but the nasty sounds started as I was finishing that thought. Pounded down the stairs (no doubt waking the neighbours in the process) and rushed outside. Wasn't able to scream (a good thing) because I still had the mouthwash, so I clapped my hands loudly, twice. Which, thank goodness, broke up the fight. Nasty,  nasty, nasty. I got Derry inside and checked him over for wounds, blood, etc., but there weren't any, knock on wood. Left Nicki out back to cool his heels and get his adrenaline level down. Then I went back upstairs to finish getting ready for work and of course burst into tears--with my adrenaline sky high. It was another redirected, Toby-fueled fight, of course, courtesy of Nicki. Presumably this means that I can't leave both boys out back unattended in the mornings anymore. I was becoming a bit comp...

I'm not sure where the weekend went, but here we are again, back to Monday. And half over for me at that, though I do have an afternoon meeting. I'm yawning already at the thought. The weekend was quiet. Very quiet. So quiet I peeked outside yesterday to make sure the son really was home--yes, he was out riding his bike. No doubt they're tiptoeing around so I don't complain any further, and I'm tiptoeing around so as not to give them something to complain about. None of us (the adults, I mean) wants to be outside when the other is, so we all seem to be avoiding the other. Which isn't hard, given my early AM and early to bed schedule. They're late risers and if they go out at all on weekends, it's not till mid to late afternoon. Of course I feel like the worst person on the planet for judging their (lack of) parenting and bitching out loud. (See? There I go again. It's so easy to do.) I try to tell myself that gee, even Jesus reputedly lost ...

I bought a small bundle of sage yesterday, along with a crystal to wear and one to hang up in front of my patio door. Didn't find a mirror I liked, and I didn't want just anything, so I'll look when I'm out and about tomorrow. I want to genuinely like what I put up. And when the neighbours all left around supper time (and stayed away until 8PM), I lit the sage bundle and went top to bottom through the house, each room and corner. My technique was lousy, but my intent was for our Highest Good, and I think that's all that really matters. I even went out on my front step and cleansed around my door, then went out into the garden and did the entire perimeter (small perimeter though that is--lol) and of course around the outside of the patio door. What I found interesting is that both boys wouldn't come near me, reeking of sage as I did. Derry ran and hid, and even normally nosy Nicki stayed away. Who knew sage was a cat repellent? LOL. Even afte...

Just wanted to respond to a couple of the comments from last night's post. I told her she's the only neighbour I've had a problem with, and I'm considerably older than she is. LOL. She does seem to have a great fear about me creating trouble. I swear on Annie's and Chum's spirits that I never thought of social services, that she mentioned it herself in April as being her biggest fear, then asked me if I had called them (on Monday). The kid doesn't need social services, it's the parents who are being abused. I told her again that I liked her, that I thought parenting has to the be toughest job, etc. Every single thing I said last night was calm and was said to placate. I have work training today, through our HR...How to deal with aggressive/violent customers. I signed up just to take something, but it might be timely. Not that I think she'd be violent, she doesn't seem that way to me. Whacked, yes. Even the son doesn't s...

Geezus, she rang my door bell a short time ago, still upset about my judging her kids and her parenting, wanting resolution. I wouldn't say it started out that well, with her trying to insist I was the one who brought up social services and that her husband heard me mention them (WTF?). I corrected her, said it never even occurred to me, that she was the one who asked me. I don't know if she heard me or not. Whackadoodle all right. She said I'm the only neighbour they've ever had a problem with, that no one else she talked to across our little street had an issue with their noise, nor do the other adjoining people. Well, as for the ones across the street...they're across the street. Hello ? Whether she actually spoke with their other adjoining neighbours is questionable, since they're around so seldom and given that not everything she says is quite on the up-and-up. She wanted to figure out a way to live peacefully because they can't sell. (No, they...

It was pretty darned quiet over there last night. My boys went out, but I was inside. They actually left for a few hours in the late afternoon and I jumped up and watered all my plants, front and back. LOL. Typical of me, wanting to avoid confrontation and unpleasant situations. Really. In spite of the passive-aggressive venting over the phone with Mom. Now, though, after having talked with Mom in follow-up, and emailing back and forth with some of you, I have to wonder about the children's social services thing. The mother mentioned to me, back in April, that her biggest fear was that someone would call social services. Yesterday she asked me directly if I had (sorry for repeating myself). Of course not, it never occurred to me! But my mom seemed to think her concern was a huge red flag. I don't know. I know they lived with his parents for five years, then moved to our city and rented. I started to think, though, that their moving mid-month (this past February) wa...

I was talking to my mom on the phone a short time ago, venting about the next door family. Talking out of the screen, actually, hoping someone would hear me. Being passive aggressive, which I'm so good at. Yep, the mom heard me and came over, sick and in tears, very disappointed that I'd talk about her kids, etc., etc. to someone. I apologized for losing my cool yesterday evening and slamming the patio door, etc., said it wasn't an adult thing to do and that I'd do my best not to lose my cool again. I also apologized for talking with my mom, though added that she lives in Halifax and hasn't visited in four years, and that I really needed to vent. I said, calmly , a lot of things. Like if they weren't getting professional help I recommended it, that I'd had counseling many times through my life, that everyone needs help. I also mentioned the son's verbal abuse and so on. She claims he's under the care of a doctor at a local hospital and that they...

I'm sorry for last night's terrible rant; I removed that post. I know it's my blog and I can write what I want, but really, all that negative energy doesn't help anything, least of all my own state of Being. But man....You know, yesterday, while the boy was screaming at his mother about one thing or another, the father started to say something to him and the kid shouted back, "SHUT UP! I'm not talking to you!!!" This actually happened more than once, and the parents let him get away with it. Is this how people parent today? Because no matter what a child's label or diagnosis/misdiagnosis, I'm of the opinion that that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. Hence my previous comment that this kid needs parents with "balls."  Oh, btw, they own the unit, they're not renters. Neither parent is happy with the purchase and I know they don't want to stay more than a couple of years (if that). But unless they buy out of the city ...

Was it only last week that I was enjoying peace and quiet, with the neighbours away? Seems like months ago now. Living next door to the boy flea is hell, have I mentioned that? Even more hellish for the mother, who was sitting outside yesterday evening, crying. I didn't realize she was in tears out there, had taken my knitting out and sat down. I knew she was out on their deck because I saw her, and she looked rather worn out and dejected I might add. But I didn't realize she was having a melt-down until after I had gotten comfy and started knitting. So I felt badly for being a witness, but didn't want to (possibly) make her feel worse by getting up and going back inside. I figured she'd realize I knew she was upset. She stayed out for a bit, then gathered the toys up and went back inside. Poor woman probably has no where to escape and I only made it worse, though not intentionally. Today the boy has been screaming his blankity-blank head off, off and on, a...

"Whackadoodle" is how the mom next door refers to herself and to family, but you know, we're all whackadoodle. Okay, maybe the young kid coming up from the complex below us and getting into the next door neighbour's garage with a lighter is more than merely whackadoodle. That's a 7 or 8 year old with a possible life of crime ahead of him. The neighbour's garage door lock has been broken and was supposed to have been fixed at the time they bought the unit, but it never was. The mom told me about the kid this afternoon, when we were chatting--she found him in their garage, which still has the former owner's old paint cans, and other flammable material. I called the admin person for the property company, expressed my concern about the kid (and others) coming up (related what the mom had told me), but of course that's a police matter, and obviously one for the neighbours to deal with. However, the admin person did say that if my neighbour called h...

"Funny" how the week crawls when one is headed to a long holiday weekend. I had a few happys yesterday, besides the yummy Lindt dark chocolate truffles (on sale!) I bought: We had a glorious day, absolutely perfect weather and temps. The mom next door was heading to the park across the street with the kids when I got home from work, so I had a while to myself with no noise and chaos, a blissful way to unwind from the day. It was  a different story later, but for that time the peace was wonderful. I wanted to ask if they were going away for the long weekend, but thought that might be too obvious. HealthyPets.com was having a one-day sale (I'm on their mailing list), so I ordered 2 boxes of Purina's FortiFlora (one box lasts both boys 2 months) and 3 packages (120 each) of the Vetri-Science Lysine treats. I already try to give the boys Lysine every day, but it's iffy whether Derry will eat the canned with it in it, even though it's only mildly salty in...

Yep, another Monday has rolled around already. I'm debating taking Friday off, as next Monday is a holiday. Maybe. If I'm actually going to do something productive like paint. Otherwise, no. Saturday morning through Sunday evening was spent in blissful peace and quiet in the house, with the family away. I had the TV tuned to one of the jazz radio stations I now get, and spent my house time puttering in the garden, reading and knitting, plus doing the usual chores and errands. It was heavenly. I sat outside yesterday in my little back space and marvelled that there are people who actually live in quiet neighbourhoods, in detached homes. Without heavy traffic noise from a major thoroughfare within spitting distance, without all the neighbourhood screaming kids playing right by your fence, without adjoining families creating chaos. That seems like a complete fantasy to me, something utterly unattainable. So I really, really appreciated the calm I did have over the weekend...

I'm wrapping up the work week by listening to jazz while the cats do their thing out in the back space. I feel positively mellow right now, and no , I've not had anything to drink. Actually, I felt like crap all week, attributed it to having a shot of rye every evening for several days in a row (alcohol being a depressant, of course), so went 5 days with nothing--and still didn't feel better. LOL. Oh well! I wasn't the only one not feeling great--my cubicle neighbour has been sick for a while now and one of my co-workers has been feeling "blah" too. Must be something going around.  In any case, I certainly felt cheerier today with the end of the work week. A "happy" for me: The mother next door mentioned in passing, this afternoon, that they're going away for the weekend. Yippee! The daughter currently is in Toronto for some reason (presumably at the grandparents' home), which is why it's been significantly quieter the p...

Yeah, that would be Toby.  Saw him up there just as I was trying to leave the house to catch the bus. He was up walking along the top 2x4, on the outside of the sheeting. Snapshot from June 2010 The boys were inside at the time, thank goodness. I chased him off with the spray bottle, but now think this is going to become a real issue. (The condensed version is an addendum to tomorrow's gardening post on the Fuzzy Tales blog, btw.) Actually, Toby hung around the fence, meowing, all morning. Well, between the time I got up and the time I left for work, so 2 hours. I fed him twice (on the front step), gave him a handful of treats, and still he hung around. I sprayed the fence on the inside and sprayed through the fence at him, repeatedly, with vinegar/water and still he hung around. I had given Nicki some calming stuff (not the treats) and that seemed to keep him from getting his fur all ruffled, thank goodness. Then, with Toby's second feeding of canned, I...

A co-worker and I were talking about death yesterday (cheery work subject), wondering why it is that in our current culture we've distanced ourselves from it. This is on my mind because one of our beloved cat bloggers is dying of pancreatic cancer, and I actually have a hard time seeing the occasional pic that her family has posted (of her). She looks fine, but you know, when you see her, that you're staring death in the face. It makes me feel uncomfortable.  Years ago humans died at home, the bodies tended to by the women in the family. Many cultures still do this, I'm sure. But here in our society, death is something to be feared, rather than viewed as a natural process of life, rather than the opposite of birth. I wonder when and why this came about, this transition. Anyone know? Just curious. I don't have any great wisdom around the subject, and I have my own deep fears of death--not so much of non-existence, more of the actual process of dying. Tha...

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. -Ellen Glasgow Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. -Arnold Bennett Things are shifting a bit at work right now. Our small department falls under the umbrella of a larger one and there have been recent accounting changes, seemingly simple things, but things that signal the loss of our department's autonomy. Things that make me feel threatened for my job down the road, when our current director, my boss, is no longer here. Threatened because I have no special skills, no university degree, and I'm close to 50. Someone much younger easily could do what I do, no problem, once they were up to speed. I liked our years of autonomy. We fall under the management of a particular department now, though we interact more with other departments, if that makes sense. I don't want to be part of this larger group, don't want someone else taking over bits of jobs ...

I've been feeling a bit "off" this weekend, haven't done much at all either day, very atypical for me. So I thought it would be the perfect time to "jot" a few "happys" down and reset my focus. I'm happy for: My morning mug of coffee--I had given up coffee for a couple of years, till I found a nice low-acid blend that I can drink without tummy upset. I love my morning coffee--and the lite coffee cream! Spring blossoms and rich, green grass. A weekend of sunshine. Getting two hanging baskets of pink geraniums from a local grocery store. I'll be doing a garden centre run mid-month, but it was nice to get something early. Getting sunflower seeds as well. I hope that some germinate, after I plant them, and that they survive the cats' gardening "help." A kid-quiet night last night. I thought they must have been drugged into unconsciousness or be away, they were so quiet. Unlike Friday evening and night, where it seemed lik...

It's been a lovely afternoon and evening and I left work an hour early and have spent most of the time out back with the fur kids. Me reading, them sunbathing and chasing moths or butterflies, whatever they are. It seems to be peak mating season right now, or so I assume, and the back space is almost swarming with them. One landed on my nose for about two seconds, just long enough for me to hope Derry didn't see it. He's been stalking them and pretty much turning somersaults, trying to catch them, and all I could think was that if Derry saw one on my nose I'd be in trouble. Or my face would be! A bit later another one hit me in the left eye, and later still one came close to parking itself on my sweater. I don't recall a recent spring where I've seen so many. I'm sure Derry eventually will catch one or two, if he's patient enough. Nicki, however, doesn't have the patience to stalk prey, he just charges after them and scares them off, of ...

Okay, well, the Berberis Vulg might or might not be good for long term use, but it's the Uva uris that can cause bladder irritation if used for more than a couple of weeks. It's actually the last ingredient in a long list of what's in the current product I've been trying, the Natural Pet one from a local store, so presumably it's in such a small amount that it wouldn't really impact Derry. I hope. Sorry. Obviously I'm too tired to read the homeopathic book and too tired to blog. BTW, we went to visit our boss this afternoon. He looks pretty good, tired, but otherwise fine. He was hanging around in his jammies and housecoat because they're more comfortable, and he wasn't moving around much, either. But he still has his hair. Apparently this kind of chemo, directly into the organ, doesn't cause one's hair to fall out and doesn't make one sick, either. He's waiting on the results of the biopsies the surgeon did -- the surge...

I got the book I ordered today: Homeopathic Care for Cats & Dogs: Small Doses for Small Animals , by Don Hamilton, DVM. Flipping through it, reading the section on cystitis, just adds another layer of confusion to the subject and makes me aware that the Natural Pet product available here at a local pet supply store is mostly useless, except perhaps for one or two ingredients. And shouldn't be given long term at all. And also makes me realize that the product I've ordered from PetAlive and thought would be okay for ongoing support, as it claims, really isn't . One of its three active ingredients, Berberis vulg, can cause bladder irritation if given for more than a couple of weeks, and is intended for kidney pain, not bladder inflammation. Well, hell's bells. When--tell me when --did it get so frickin' complicated to share one's life with animal companions? When did it get so expensive? When did it become more than food, water, love, play time,...

The cable guy showed up at 2PM, just as I wanted to watch Steven and Chris , of course. No matter, they're in reruns now anyway. So, now that I have the high-def "value pak," I see there's just a whole lot more of "nothing" on TV. I am looking forward to HGTV and Discovery again, though--it's been 10 or 11 years since I've had those channels. Ditto for A&E. Right now I can't believe I have a Star Trek: TNG rerun on. Boy, did Gates McFadden ever have a lot of botox. Or maybe it was a full face lift. LOL. My ex and I were big into Star Trek, in all its incarnations, but for me, that was a long, long time ago and while I think of the shows fondly, I can't say they turn my crank anymore. (BTW, my favourite was DS9, because it had a darker, grittier edge to it, and often had a continuing storyline.) Anyway, all I can say is that I'm glad I'm not paying more per month to have these extra stations than I was before! And I ...

Gees, guys, you know it'll be autumn before we blink. All I can say is that we (meaning those of us in my part of world) had better get some sunny and warm weather soon, or we'll have missed the entire Spring. Nothing "exciting" to relate, but since "excitement" usually means (to me) upheaval and stress due to illness and/or loss, I'll take "boring," thanks very much. I'm off tomorrow, as I have to wait around the house all day for the cable guy to show up. I'm betting it'll be the end of the day. Why on earth they can't narrow it down to either AM or PM is beyond me, but such is the way it goes with most of these "service" companies. Oh, we are going to visit our boss Thursday afternoon, not for long, just to see how he's doing, drop off a card and gift card. I hope it won't be too long before he's back, but I doubt he'll make it in next week, as he was speculating a couple of days ago. We...