It was a quiet night...and how do I carry on?
It was pretty darned quiet over there last night. My boys went out, but I was inside. They actually left for a few hours in the late afternoon and I jumped up and watered all my plants, front and back. LOL. Typical of me, wanting to avoid confrontation and unpleasant situations. Really. In spite of the passive-aggressive venting over the phone with Mom.
Now, though, after having talked with Mom in follow-up, and emailing back and forth with some of you, I have to wonder about the children's social services thing.
The mother mentioned to me, back in April, that her biggest fear was that someone would call social services. Yesterday she asked me directly if I had (sorry for repeating myself). Of course not, it never occurred to me! But my mom seemed to think her concern was a huge red flag.
I don't know. I know they lived with his parents for five years, then moved to our city and rented. I started to think, though, that their moving mid-month (this past February) was rather odd. Perhaps not, but usually renters leave at the end of the month. Whether it was just a house closing issue or they had to get out of their apartment in a hurry, I don't know.
What I'm not sure about is how to go about my daily life. I'd like to have as little to do with any of them as possible, feel I ought to tiptoe around the house and definitely avoid being outside when they are. Yet I want to be able to enjoy my little back space. I love my garden, love sitting out there when it's peaceful and quiet.
So I'm not sure how to proceed. Suggestions from anyone, especially those who've had to deal with unpleasant neighbour situations? How did you handle it?
Thanks.
Comments
Sorry - I don't think I'm helping much. It's just that I do totally feel your anxiety and stress levels. All I wanted was to enjoy our little home and little front and back gardens and hear the birds and watch my cats but because of this family, I couldn't. I let them get to me so easily. I wished and even now,wish I could be as laid back as my ex who totally tuned the extraneous noise out and didn't let the noise get to him. I wish I could have his secret! Currently I live with wonderful neighbours (maily elderly!) except for one who just bought the house next to me. Middle-aged man and his wife. When he first introduced himself he said he "liked his DIY" and I thought, oh he likes putting up shelves, that's ok. Except for the past 6 weeks his idea of DIY is to trash the house inside out and re-do everything from scratch, so lots of drilling and banging. I put on my headphones and crank up the music but I could still feel the walls vibrate from the drilling. You know one of my blog posts - pic of my feet with charlie outside while I was ill? We sat outside cos of the drilliing. I am only gritting my teeth because I reckon he will have to stop at some point and actually move in and live in the house. So that's what's keeping my sanity. Living in hope that it will all be over soon! LOL!
Sorry again, very long comment and no help whatsoever!
You shouldn't have to tiptoe in your garden. You shouldn't have to feel as if you are under attack in your own home. The family next door are troubled with a lot of issues and baggage they should not impose on you. I do feel sorry for them, but I feel annoyed they are putting you in such a position! There is such a code as being neighbourly!
Big big hugs Kim!! I could go on really - I have no clue what my point is LOL!!!! Take care
x
The question about noise regulations in your complex does seem to be a possibility for complaint to the management.
Also talking with the neighbors on the other side of the noise might be of some help. If two parties complain about the same thing it would give more support to your complaint and more authority to the management to do something.
Victoria
Hiding inside in YOUR area is not the answer - you have a right to live safely and with some peace. I must admit, checking out what the other neighbours feel and a call out for the police the next time it happens also sounds very tempting.
Sorry - just waffling here - there are no easy answers. But you do have a right to your peace and quiet.
Yes the question she asked about reporting to them to social services tells me that they have a "file" on this family at social services. I would not hesitate to call and report them.
If they can't keep the noise down to an accepted level especially during certain hours it seems you're going to have to seek outside help.
You might start with asking your condo mgmt for any advise ... they are used to dealing with this sort of thing.
I learned from the police dept locally there is NO time constraints on when noise is too much. If we feel like someone is too loud at 9am in the morning they could be reported.
I have a feeling if you could do any online sleuthing on this family (if you know their first and last names) you would probably find that they have a long list of complaints.
Good luck!
xoxox
gosh, keep us posted...
It's not your fault that her child is a disaster.
Thought ~ could you put in a water fountain of some sort that might help with a calmer noise. I know, probably not but I thought it might help.
I had a terrible neighbor that I lived next to for years. I ended up moving. I know you said that's not an option for you.
I think you've been more than friendly. At this point, I'd be neutral and see what you can do about reporting them if they are noisy.
My advice is to go out into your lovely garden and NEVER take a back seat to your own pleasure!!!! Do not hide away because you are only cheating yourself of the magic you have created in your garden...live your life...bring your music outside.
OK time for coffee before I rant aimlessly on and on...
Big hugs to you...Karla
Peggy