On Change and the Loss of Autonomy

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. -Ellen Glasgow

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. -Arnold Bennett
Things are shifting a bit at work right now. Our small department falls under the umbrella of a larger one and there have been recent accounting changes, seemingly simple things, but things that signal the loss of our department's autonomy. Things that make me feel threatened for my job down the road, when our current director, my boss, is no longer here.

Threatened because I have no special skills, no university degree, and I'm close to 50. Someone much younger easily could do what I do, no problem, once they were up to speed.

I liked our years of autonomy. We fall under the management of a particular department now, though we interact more with other departments, if that makes sense. I don't want to be part of this larger group, don't want someone else taking over bits of jobs that some of us (me, another) always have done.

Crazy, isn't it?

It's just a job, after all.

And if I lose it, well, either I'll find another or end up living with one of my parents again. (I hear a "hurrah" all round. LOL.) Unless the Universe/Fates feel like handing me a huge lottery win, of course.  :-)

How do you handle change, when it's something you instinctively perceive as a threat, rather than something you're seeking, and therefore embracing?


Universal Blessings, Light and Mercy to All Beings.

Comments

Karin Parker said…
Yikes! Interesting question and I am not sure my response is helpful. I go into 'reptilian brain' mode. Basically I don't think, I fight or fly. And then when I have calmed down a bit I hide under the duvet for a long time. Actually, when I do the hiding I recognise I am processing change and trying to come to terms with whatever is going on. Then I can take a deep breath and let go.
Until my current job, I have never had to deal with employment insecurity. Now I am on an annually renewed contract, and have no hope of a permanent post until I add to my qualifications, and then a post might open up, maybe. Each year when the renewals are uncertain I get very stressed and try to control everything around me, unti lI finally realise I have to take a deep breath and let go.
Hiding under the duvet to process things is the better option but not always possible if you are trying to impress someone to renew your contract!
Old Kitty said…
Oh Kim!! This is too weird! Ever since I started my job (2001?!), we've always been this tiny place autonomous area chugging along nicely. Then two years ago a new university director took over and now he is instigating changes afoot - changes so obscure all departments are shaking in their boots because we haven't a clue in fine detail what this means in reality. My union has been tearing its hair out in negotiations because the director called in outside private consultants to have a look at the overall organisation and see what they think could work better - resulting in a lot of uncertainty because it looks too as if our department (or part of it at least) could be sucked into a bigger one!

The director has called in meetings for everyone and has reassured us there will be no redundancies etc but we argue that his plans are so vague and potentially disruptive to our working practices. It all seems up in the air.

I had to go off sick for a couple of days last week because I was seriously unwell but I dragged my carcass in for the rest of the week because I was that afraid my sick days would be used against me at some point!

But those two days I called in sick, I just thought - my job is important but so is my health. Actually my health is more important! I'm sorry job but at some point my body has to heal before I can do my job properly! but it's a wrench thinking this way because I feel I ought to have sucked it up, drugged myself up and gotten to work on hands and knees if I had to!

I do admit that I tend to do like an ostrich and hope for the best. I'd like to think that my work contract and employment law protects me somewhat but these days everything is so uncertain! I mean all skills I have boils down to the fact that I've been doing this same job for such a long time and that's all and yes anyone can do what I do - someone healthier and younger of course!

Then again I do tend to be my own cheerleader and say no-one does this job as I do - and I've had no complaints and plenty of praise (all in writing - I have evidence darn it!!)!! LOL! And I will fight for my job if I need to! I have value! I may be old but I have decades of experience! LOL! I am needed and wanted as a productive member of society! Yes I am! :-)

Well that's how I deal with these uncertainties. LOL! Take care
x
Janet NZ said…
Been there - done that! Change is NOT one of my favourite things. My job DID disappear, and with it a large portion of my mental health (though I have recovered most of that since)
I'm lucky to have a husband who earns enough that I don't HAVE to find paid employment, but I really hate having to run every purchase past him (he is not at all ungenerous, but it's the lack of .... I don't know...)
There are changes happening here again - I can feel the vibes, but have no idea what is happening. I'm dealing with it by planting my head firmly up my rear-end. When I get unstuck perhaps it will all be done! XXXOOO
ANGEL ABBYGRACE said…
I understand how you feel.
It is what pushed me to take early retirement. There were so many changes taking places. I was vulnerable, even though I had 30 years of working with my govt agency I was "junior" in my office. As things have turned out I would have survived if I had stayed. I don't regret going when I did as I felt that I was finally the one who had the control. But for too long I was in a bit of limbo and it's not fun. One thing I have realized is that it all works out, and usually we have more options than we realize. But, no one likes forced change. I hope that this "too shall pass" for you.
xoxox
It's probably not going to help you much, but I've found that ignoring it if I can't do anything about it has worked well for me. It sounds like there's nothing much you can do about your job. You'll either keep it, change to a different one, or not have one, and get another one. Until the higher-ups make that decision, there's not much you can do. And that sucks big time. I can't imagine the worry you're going through, but try to relax.

If it ends up your job is safe, you'll have spent all that time and energy worrying and agonizing for nothing. I'd rather spend that time doing things I enjoy, since worrying doesn't change anything. I don't have enough brain cells left to spend them on worrying. I put my rose-colored glasses on, grab my Kindle and a cat and immerse myself the story. Or I go in my sewing room and immerse myself in working on a quilt. Everything else is forgotten.
Poppy Q said…
It's enough to make you turn to drink isn't it. I'm on a phase of hating going to work at the moment, but drag myself in every day and try to not let it get me down. I don't know what else I would do to pay the bills, and I know I'm lucky to have a job.

Julie Q
xxx
MTVA said…
I think you've made a good head start by thinking "what-ifs" and coming up with a few options. Too early to really make a plan, but it helps to have a few ideas percolating in case things do not go favorably. For so much of my working life in a large corporation, we were constantly on the edge of our seats with the merging, reorganizing, downsizing, etc. It's a huge relief to be semi-retired now and free from all that horrid stress. The stress now is living on much less money...but, like the little engine that could - I think I can! Hoping things go well for you. p.s. I hate change!!!
Laurie said…
Change can be good though cuz... instead of thinking of the "possible" negatives, start looking at it like .. Hmmm.. what could I do or what would I like to do differently? if you think you may like to explore learning different computer programs do so.. take some courses, etc. Just don't stagnate or hide from it.
Unfortunately change happens to everyone(and as you know I have had more than my fair share of changes) Each time I may mentally have a tantrum at the idea, I also mentally kick myself in the A** and try to find a way to turn it into a positive. It ain't easy.. but it can happen! LOL
and if all else fails - we are always looking for good computer savvy folks out here all the time!
Josie said…
I suck at change...and have had to live with "change" in my workplace since almost day 1 of having my job. I had to fight for normalcy-and repeatedly ask for me to have one weekend day off every other week (at least-while everyone else works one weekend day every other week for the most part.)
Anytime someone new got hired in the Front End-my shifts/hours would be affected. We have a new FE manager now, and while my schedule or days might change some-I've already been given more hours (that are needed) rather than losing hours.
Anyways...I initially go into panic-just due to prior experiences of being screwed over. Then I calm myself down-I'm not a college kid-and I'm not easily replaceable (atm)...plus I'm full time, and I do damn well at my job.
So, chocolate...maybe a beer...and telling myself to stop worrying over what I can't change. (over and over and over again.)