Thanks...Though the "fun" never stops
[This is long, and the same stupid nonsense, so I won't hold it against anyone for not reading. LOL.]
I appreciate yesterday's comments, though, really, how does anyone out in cyber space know I'm one of the "good" ones? :-)
Well, the husband came home last night, after having been away--or at least not there--since Tuesday at 4:20AM. He left while I was out with Toby, giving him his breakfast. First time that I've seen him leave so early. I figured maybe he was on call. (Not sure he's at the same job...whatever.) But he didn't return Tuesday evening or Wednesday.
Yesterday when I got home, at my regular time, I put my packages on my doorstep and went to my mailbox (lock boxes at the end of the street). I had my ear buds in, was listening to Christmas choral music, which I love. When I was heading back from the mailbox, the neighbour mother came out with envelopes to mail. I avoided eye contact and didn't engage her in any way, because heck, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I chanced a glance out of the corner of my eye as I passed, and her face was all red and flustered-looking. She made it back into her house before I could juggle everything and get inside my own home, and she slammed her door on the way in. I thought that was bizarre and a bit funny--like a three-year old having a tantrum. And odd that she even would have ventured out at the time, as she knows I typically get home around 4PM-ish, give or take.
Anyway, last night I fell asleep over my book (e-reader) quite early, woke an hour later (around 8:45PM) to the sound of the parents arguing. He obviously had arrived home. I keep a camera beside my bed, so grabbed it and set it up on the little cat stand in the upper hall. I didn't want to go downstairs because they would have heard the creaking of the stairs. So I have 7+ minutes of mostly muffled but raised voices, except for the little girl trying to tell her "daddy" how good and quiet she'd been while he was away. Then I have the neighbour mother shouting (this is all in front of the kids, mind you) about how he (husband) gets home and all he does is talk about "her" and how she (the mother) ought to go over there and something the hell something. Couldn't make it out. I got that much fairly clearly because it was the tail end of the fight and she was storming up the stairs, which adjoin mine, unfortunately.
So.
Yay.
A bit earlier this morning, I condensed this for the woman who sits beside me at work (next cubicle over) and she thought my not engaging with this woman in any way was the only option. Otherwise I'd be opening myself up to further rants (directed toward me). It feels odd to walk past an immediate neighbour and not acknowledge them, but I just don't need or want this.
I got little sleep last night and toyed with the idea of staying home and crawling back into bed, then thought that if she realized I was home during the day, she might flip out, teetering on the edge as she is. So here I am at work, and believe me, it won't be a productive day.
No comments are expected or necessary; I just need to document all this. Of course I have the sound files too. It might seem extreme to some, but I'm very glad I'm "recording" what I can too, in case anything ever happens. I have all those sound files backed up on an external drive, and have them on my desktop here at work too. A few co-workers know where to find them, on my computer.
Yes, if "Santa" could grant me wish #1 on yesterday's list, it would be fantastic. A blessing, a relief.
Oh, how I wish...!
And this one (Derry) is not allowed to have another bout of cystitis from the stress of the neighbours!
Comments
You're doing the right thing by not engaging in any kind of conversation.
I have it in me to feel sorry for her - it must be dreadful to live with someone you fight all the time with, but it she is NOT fighting with you!!!
Can you concentrate on your book with your earbuds in? That might be worth a try - it is distressing even to hear someone else fighting... XXXOOO
I usually have the TV on, either to a program or on music (mostly jazz or classical), so that does help.
I can hardly wait to go home today.... :-(
Well for what it's worth this is a copy of a Dear Abby column from several weeks ago. I thought of you immediately when I read it and cut it out to relay to you. They sound just like your neighbors.
"Dear Abby: I live in a generally quiet neighborhood, but my next-door-neighbors yell at each other and their children a lot. The shouting sounds like it is escalating.
This morning, the father yelled at his young son, telling him to name the letters of the alphabet he was pointing to. His "lesson" was filled with anger and profanity when the boy made mistakes. It was finally interrupted by the mother shouting for hi to stop He then screamed, "Shut your mouth" and she responded back "Don't you TOUCH me!"
I don't know what to do. At what point should I call the police, or is this none of my business? Worried Neighbor in California
Response: The turmoil in that household isn't healthy for the children. The next time the father starts shouting, call the police to report a "domestic disturbance." The verbal abuse could very well escalate to physical violence (if it hasn't already)."
I hadn't thought that the behavior of the children could really be a response to the general atmosphere in the home and their actions could be an imitation of what they hear all the tine.
Couldn't you call (anonymously) a social service agency explain the situation and ask their advice about when a time to call them in would be appropriate or whether calling the police as suggested in the column above might be a good idea or not?
Certainly if things do seem to be getting worse over there your call might really improve the situation by offering the couple and children some much needed counseling and strategies to use.
Also at least then someone with some authority would be aware of the problems and might be able to take some action which would not only help you but the family as well.
I truly do understand your reluctance to interfere and become embroiled but if you could do it anonymously then you could be kept out of it.
Vic
The problem for me is that even if I called anonymously and ended up reporting them, it would NOT be anonymous. There's only one unit, one resident, who could possibly report them...and that's me.
soft hugs
Hisses and growls to your next door!
:-(
And Derry is looking so floofed up for winter!!
Take care
x