*What* are you doing?!?

[This post has turned out to be much longer than anticipated, so please don't feel obliged to read it, let alone leave a comment!]

So I was rowing last evening (usually it's an AM thing for me, more energy then) and Nicki came down to the basement to keep me company. Wish I had had my camera nearby.

I don't know what was in his head, but he was meowing like a fool (typical) and looking to jump up onto the plumbing pipes again. I recently chased him off a couple of times, with a broom, so he didn't actually make it up there last night.

But then he zoomed around, meowing and jumping at the concrete walls and even tried to climb the furnace.

Full of beans and too cold to burn off the energy outside, I guess. I confess, though, that when he tried to jump on the furnace (there's no real ledge to it and of course he couldn't find purchase anywhere) I wondered if I tend to overestimate his cleverness. :-D

Pic from last January, because I've not taken any snapshots since the weekend.

***

Tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of Chumley's death. I have a brief posted scheduled on this blog. The Fuzzy Tales blog is off-line at this time, until I feel like resuming it.

Chum and Annie have been on my mind a lot lately. Annie's 2-year "Bridge" anniversary is coming up next month. I'm not overcome with grief or wallowing in negative thinking, I'm just aware of the impending date.

I came across these late-January 2008 pics of her.

She, too, was a wild one, in her heyday. 

 ***

Our temp right now is -24C (-11F) and with the windchill it feels like -35C (-31F). I was so worried about Toby last night, though I know he's a tough street cat. But he was fine this morning, had been curled up in his little insulated "house" on my step when I went out at 4AM to feed him.

Snapshot from the weekend; he was watching one of the boys.

I keep hoping that someone in the neighbourhood will fall in love with him and help him, someone who can take on the cost of vet bills, etc. But, sadly, I don't think this is going to happen. Poor Tobes.

***

As for non-cat things....I've been thinking a lot about expectations, as you know. It's been a very long time since I've expected anything other than crap to come into my life, so I'm making a conscious and daily effort to change that.

I stumbled across this quote yesterday:

"If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated. ” -Victoria Moran, Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty

When I was younger, my late teens, 20s and to my late 30s, I used to practice daily affirmations, I used to expect only the best, only the good to come into my life. I used to expect to be accommodated.

Of course, life doesn't actually work that way. Sooner or later, no matter who you are or what your mindset, the crapola hits the fan and you will experience tragedy, loss, grief, etc. No one escapes it, though some seem blessed in that none of it "sticks" to them (in my experience, male friends and relatives).

At this time in my life, it's more realistic for me to acknowledge that yes, the terrible things will come again, but that I expect an equal measure of Joy and Light and love and happiness, etc. So that the scales are balanced, not skewed to the "dark side."

I want an equal measure of "good," to compensate for the past dozen...sixteen...years of mostly unhappiness, depression, struggles, and grief. I expect an equal measure of "good" to come into my life, blowing gently in like a warm Spring breeze, renewing my Spirit. I'm not railing at the Universe, demanding it give me this or that; rather, I feel calm about it, lighter somehow. Trusting. I can't quite explain it.

I just know I'm really working on shifting my focus, because believing that only sickness and death await, that there's nothing joy-full to look forward to in my life, definitely isn't working.

Peace. And purrs from the boys.  :-)