I've been thinking about that article
[Comments are off. This is me, just being aware of what I'm telling myself. Feel free to navigate away now.]
I've been thinking a lot about that article I read yesterday on TinyBuddha.com. About all the ways denial creeps into my thoughts.
I hear my mother's voice in most of them.
It's not about being grateful for my many blessings, because I know damn well I AM blessed in so many ways, from reasonably good health and mobility, to work, to being independent, and so on. And I'm aware of those blessings every day.
It's not about wanting a grander house and more "stuff." I keep getting rid of my "stuff" and absolutely don't want a large and/or grand home.
It's about wanting a life that resonates with me. One that gives meaning to my days, one that brings me a sense of fulfillment, on a heart and soul level. Not some unrealistic "happy, happy no problems life".
Oh, and here's one more thought of denial:
Life's not like that. No one gets to live like that.
My mom didn't get to live like that. So I can't either.
Peace.
I've been thinking a lot about that article I read yesterday on TinyBuddha.com. About all the ways denial creeps into my thoughts.
I hear my mother's voice in most of them.
- This is the best I can do on my own.
- I'm lucky to have what I do, so be grateful (read "satisfied") with it (read "any little crumb you have").
- Life can always be worse.
- It's too late for me.
- I'm too old.
- Suck it up.
- Get over it.
- No one ever said life was fair.
- Nothing is ever going to change until I magically transform myself into a "go-getter", someone who is extroverted, clever, and savvy, financially. (That's my OWN voice.)
- I can't get there from here. (That's mine too.)
- My mental health problems and emotional baggage preclude anything better for my Self. (Definitely mine.)
It's not about being grateful for my many blessings, because I know damn well I AM blessed in so many ways, from reasonably good health and mobility, to work, to being independent, and so on. And I'm aware of those blessings every day.
It's not about wanting a grander house and more "stuff." I keep getting rid of my "stuff" and absolutely don't want a large and/or grand home.
It's about wanting a life that resonates with me. One that gives meaning to my days, one that brings me a sense of fulfillment, on a heart and soul level. Not some unrealistic "happy, happy no problems life".
Oh, and here's one more thought of denial:
Life's not like that. No one gets to live like that.
My mom didn't get to live like that. So I can't either.
Peace.