Standing in my power

Most of you already know from FB that I called the police last night, because of the neighbours. I woke from a sound sleep around 9:30 pm (you all know I go to bed super-early) because the girl was screaming bloody murder (to use a phrase). I was so scared/upset that it took three tries to get the correct number, but finally I did and got through. Then I huddled under the covers with Derry, heart pounding out of my chest, awake until midnight. I didn't look out the window, though I know the police came and checked things out. 

I did my usual running around this morning, and when I got back there was a note in the mailbox from the mother, of which I took a snapshot and then left as it was, not wanting to look at it, until several people commented that if it was a threat the police needed to know. So finally I got it and read it, and it was an apology and an invitation to communicate. She left her phone number and email address.

Then I felt in a quandary: I don't want any part of their energy and don't want to engage them in any way, having tried this during the first year they were here, with disastrous results with the mother, but good manners, duty, and civility pressed on me. I had some back and forth with various "friends" on FB, and at one point I wondered what the life lesson is for me here. Is it to stand up for myself and stop tolerating what no one should have to tolerate in the first place? Is it to learn compassion? Forgiveness? Something else?

It was my cousin who posted that she guessed the lesson was to learn to "stand in my power" and to ignore the note and the bullshit, and to keep calling the police as necessary. (Others advised ignoring the note and calling the police too.) Bless her, she also said that she wished she could be here, that she'd put a stop to this. (I so wish I did have someone strong here who would have my back and put a stop to it, I'm far too non-confrontational and passive. But it is what it is.)

I appreciate everyone's feedback and support, and I especially like my cousin's "stand in your power" turn of phrase. When I think of that, of doing that for my Self, I want to cry. I suppose because certainly for the past almost-20 years I've felt that I have no real personal power at all.

So right now I'm choosing to ignore the note and to stand in my power instead.

On a completely different note, my new master bedroom window was installed yesterday. I have a post to do about that, because the "vacation" day wasn't exactly "vacation-like," but I'll save that for another time. I will say, though, that my adventures with a new curtain rod were "disastrous" themselves.

Peace.

From Facebook