Dear Santa
Dear Santa, I've been a good girl this year. More's the pity. Actually, I've been a ridiculously good (and boring) girl for 48 years, going on 49, and for some reason, it doesn't seem to be working for me. You know I haven't asked you for a lot of things over my lifetime, and the non-material things I've asked for I've not received. Not that I'm criticizing or anything. But I thought I'd ask for a few things this year, if you could see your way to bringing at least #1 or #3. 1. Please take away my immediate neighbours permanently, and bring only quiet, problem-free, abuse-free ones, with no problem companion Beings of any species. The gods and goddesses aren't working quickly enough on this one, so I thought I'd ask you. You know, in case the deities are too busy eating Ferrero Rocher chocolates to pay attention to requests. [Referencing a dumb TV ad.] 2. In correlation with item #1, please provide me the means to have sound-reducing...