"Wife of"
I had a good early morning walk through the Cemetery today, before it got too desperately hot and muggy. The sign is new, since I last was there.
As always, I enjoy looking at the headstones, always wonder who the people were, what their dreams were, if they were happy or at least content or if they welcomed the oblivion of death.
Today, this headstone (below) caught my eye, simply because of the "wife of." Never mind that she died while still in her prime. All we know about her is that she was "wife of." Not her passions, her likes and dislikes, her hopes, her achievements. Just that she was a wife. As if that was the only identity that mattered. Wife. Or mother.
It so clearly demonstrates to me how the female identity is tied to being someone's "property," and to how well she breeds. We like to think we've come so far, and a few have, but most women on this planet still are someone's property, someone's broodmare. Or have value only for those things, not for their intrinsic Selves.
Where are the markers with "husband of," I wonder. Or the markers that say the woman was president of such and such, that she headed up this or that.
Wife of.
Another marker that caught my attention was this:
Vincent's small stone (a child, perhaps?) seemed almost forgotten, at the bottom of another grave and wedged close to the large rocks that form a lovely pool with fountains.
Vincent, I think, has long passed from memory.
And the person buried here seems also to have long been forgotten. There's barely anything left of his or her simple marker.
Walking through here always makes me pensive. Not low or depressed, just thought-full. I wonder why humans try so hard to be remembered, why we think we even will be, why we strive so hard for immortality--either via grand monuments or via a belief in eternal life in some sort of made-up utopia in the sky. What's so wrong or bad about simply dying and having our bodies return to Mother Earth, our spirits to star dust? Why can't the human ego accept non-existence?
That's rhetorical. Of course.
I have a few more photos to post on another day, mostly landscape shots--it really is quite lovely in there. Very serene, definitely peaceful. Soothing.
Happy Sunday and I wish those of you in the U.S. a happy and safe 4th of July!
As always, I enjoy looking at the headstones, always wonder who the people were, what their dreams were, if they were happy or at least content or if they welcomed the oblivion of death.
Today, this headstone (below) caught my eye, simply because of the "wife of." Never mind that she died while still in her prime. All we know about her is that she was "wife of." Not her passions, her likes and dislikes, her hopes, her achievements. Just that she was a wife. As if that was the only identity that mattered. Wife. Or mother.
It so clearly demonstrates to me how the female identity is tied to being someone's "property," and to how well she breeds. We like to think we've come so far, and a few have, but most women on this planet still are someone's property, someone's broodmare. Or have value only for those things, not for their intrinsic Selves.
Where are the markers with "husband of," I wonder. Or the markers that say the woman was president of such and such, that she headed up this or that.
Wife of.
Another marker that caught my attention was this:
Vincent's small stone (a child, perhaps?) seemed almost forgotten, at the bottom of another grave and wedged close to the large rocks that form a lovely pool with fountains.
Vincent, I think, has long passed from memory.
And the person buried here seems also to have long been forgotten. There's barely anything left of his or her simple marker.
Walking through here always makes me pensive. Not low or depressed, just thought-full. I wonder why humans try so hard to be remembered, why we think we even will be, why we strive so hard for immortality--either via grand monuments or via a belief in eternal life in some sort of made-up utopia in the sky. What's so wrong or bad about simply dying and having our bodies return to Mother Earth, our spirits to star dust? Why can't the human ego accept non-existence?
That's rhetorical. Of course.
I have a few more photos to post on another day, mostly landscape shots--it really is quite lovely in there. Very serene, definitely peaceful. Soothing.
Happy Sunday and I wish those of you in the U.S. a happy and safe 4th of July!
Comments
I believe we all want to think we mattered. To be remembered is to have mattered. Alas I wonder who will remember me when I am gone, as I did not have children (just fur babies) of my own. I do not look forward to old age as there will be no one to help me cross those years,and I see that humankind treats animals, children and old people very unkindly.
Humans can be so silly sometimes - their brains are so powerful and so complex that living in the here and now as other creatures do is never ever enough!! I think whoever created us (spritually!!) was having a cosmic laugh at our expense. We seem to be trapped by the whims of the Ego. It's our greatest evolutionary achievement and our worst burden.
We are destined to think and think and think. We just can't be.
:-)
thanks for a very thoughtful post!
Take care
x
I think one of the reasons I like animals so much is their ability to live in the "now" and nowhere else.
I think that I should like to be remembered as Wife of... and certainly Mother of... I was not able to carry a pregnancy to term. Truthfully, the only goal I had in life was to be a wife and mother. I can think of nothing better, even now.
I like my life OK, but it is not what I hoped it would be, nor will it ever be.
instead i will say that it looks like a beautiful cemetery. which is one of my favourite places to wander at home and abroad, they are so different and all the stories told and untold, peaceful places perfect for contemplating i think. one of my favourite places in the whole world is the world heritage place of skogskyrkogården (woodland cemetery) here in the outskirts of stockholm. it's gorgeous and spread over a vast area and is so fascinating from an architectural point of view too.
thank you for a fine post. and photos to match.