Musings on a Small Life

So we come to the end of another year, already. Usually I look back at events that have occurred in my life during the previous twelve months, but I really don't want to do that this time. 2011 soon will be gone and I'm not sorry to see it go. What amazes me is that I didn't bottom out and end up back on drugs. Well, there's always the new year to look forward to. Ha. I don't know what lies ahead for any of us. I'm long past the illusions of youth wherein I believed there's meaning and spiritual lessons in all things, wherein I believed everything would be okay, would work out just fine in the end. The reality is that life throws sorrow and suffering and loss at us all, it's unavoidable. However, my wish for us all for 2012 is that the universe grants us whatever it is we need to meet the challenges ahead, and survive, even thrive. I wish, for us all, an abundance of laughter and love and Light, of mercy, of peace, of good health and healing. I wish th...

I popped into the office this morning to water my plants, then walked down along the waterfront for a bit. On the way down, through campus, I came across this little tree, decorated with these cute ornaments. A bit of whimsy, I thought. BTW, I seem to have a real knack for choosing the coldest days to take a few snapshots. It was -17C this morning, with a windchill into the -20s Celcius. Even with thick layers, I was cold! P.S. I miss my TV! Even though CBC Radio 1 does some really interesting stories. Thankfully, I can knit and listen to the radio at the same time. LOL. Universal Blessings, Light and Mercy to All Beings.

I found it quite amusing that my almost-eleven year old analogue TV died this morning. I should say the picture died. The sound is fine. Doesn't work with a DVD, either, so it's not the cable connection. Well, they don't make things like they used to! So I'm going to have a look around for a good bargain on a 32" or 37" LCD TV, because my dad generously offered to send the money for one. Boxing week is the time to shop, if anything's left. I suspect a lot of people prefer 40" and up, but my space is small and I don't want or need anything that large. Funny, though, how I already miss having it. I don't watch much TV: news, weather, documentaries. Love "Time Team" (stop groaning, please), "Antiques Roadshow," etc. Have never seen any reality shows, any of the current comedy or drama shows and am not interested. Yet I tend to have the TV on a lot as background noise, as "company." The image of other humans, the ...

The fun kind.  :-) I'll probably do a post for the boys later this week, with some Christmas Day pics. "Santa" brought them more than they probably ever will play with. And my mom made them an adorable cat mat--they've both had turns on it already. Total paper chaos. Gifts from mom, including washable wool long "janes," warm socks, two pairs of fleece lounge pants (sewn by her), a few tops, a great apron with lots of pockets, some wonderful loose teas and a lovely, breakable reindeer (to be kept away from Nicki). Gifts the boys "gave me"--very clever of them to know I wanted lots of fleece this year, and wool to knit too, and that I needed new slippers. And such a pretty cat calendar.  :-) I hope you all have been spoiled too--by yourself, your fur kids or family and/or friends. Universal Blessings, Light and Mercy to All Beings.

Day 2 of my holiday, 8:30AM and I've already changed the bedding, done three loads of laundry, washed umpteen dishes, gathered clothes for donation, scrubbed out one of the litter boxes (I don't do them all at once, too lazy), and have vacuumed top to bottom. I'm ready for a nap. LOL. However, a friend is picking me up shortly and we're going for coffee, then I have a chicken that needs to be cooked today. I'll be making a cranberry crunch dessert, using quinoa flakes instead of oatmeal, so will see how that tastes. I'd like to wish everyone a wonderful holiday, whatever you celebrate. I have no idea why anyone but my mom (and sometimes dad) would read anything I post--it is a very small life, after all--but I appreciate the visits and comments, appreciate the connection. Much universal Light and Joy to you all...Wishing you Peace and Blessings. Two lovely cards, the second sent to me this year (thank you, Cheri).  

Today is a joyous, joy-full day for me, as the winter Solstice was at 12:30AM EST today. That means we start getting more daylight again and as far as I'm concerned, it's reason to rejoice. It's also a joyous day because I'm using my last vacation day tomorrow, so I'll be away from the office until the university opens again on January 3rd. Yay! I think I'll celebrate both the Solstice and the impending holiday with some chocolate and shortbread cookies now.  :-) Happy Solstice! I received this card in yesterday's mail, painted by my mom's very creative cousin. Universal Blessings, Light and Mercy to All Beings.

To be ranted at and blamed by a procrastinating "co-worker" (not really a direct co-worker anymore) for something I did correctly and for a delay in his receiving something that had nothing whatsoever to do with me. I walked out of his office yesterday while he was still frothing at me because I couldn't stand it. It was a simple matter to fix and he could have done it himself if he had read his email. And when his latest $975 toy showed up a short time later (thank heavens our department isn't paying for it), I stuck my head in his office and said, "You''re welcome." I ought to have asked for an apology for speaking to me that way, as he sure as hell doesn't speak in that manner to anyone else here. Last year at this time, in another procrastinating panic, he loudly and unkindly told me to "Shut up!" and I carried that through the entire holiday. I won't carry this little thing through my holiday this year, however, because he just...

Gees, talk about Scrooge and Bah, humbug! But apparently we don't close at noon on Friday because it's not actually Christmas Eve. Eleven years I've been here and I would swear we close at noon on the last day before our holidays. Though not last year, I'm told. (I wasn't here, so certainly wouldn't remember.) Okay, maybe it was the previous two Principals (since I've been here, I mean) who graciously closed the university at noon that last day. Like anyone is going to be here? Or working if they are? Well, I won't be here regardless, as I've got one vacation day to use up. Heading in to work, at 6:45AM one day last week. On another note entirely, I had a haircut on Saturday and my stylist was booked for a C-section this morning at 8:30AM. Her baby (first child, a boy) is/was breech, with his head stuck under her right ribs. I really hope all went well and that they're both fine. I told her I'd always remember his birthday, as it...

This is our liquor board's holiday magazine--they publish a free magazine every season. Three hundred eight pages of gorgeous food and drink photography and the most scrumptious-looking recipes ever. I want to be a food-taster for them. Really. Kudos to all their photographers, I can't even imagine what it takes to do this well. So I'm posting a number of my favourite pages, just to have everyone droolilng. If anyone is tempted to try one or more of these recipes, and needs someone for quality control, I volunteer. (Clicking on the images should enlarge them enough to read the text. I hope.) Today's office Christmas luncheon of pizza, beer and a movie at our boss's house won't quite measure up to this standard of fare. Universal Blessings, Light and Mercy to All Beings.

I think the boys are hoping for a bigger boot or stocking than this:   It's one of the tiny ornaments hanging on a cute little tree at the other end of our office suite, part of another department's decorations. I'm sure "Santa" will oblige the boys. Meanwhile, I'm just looking forward to the break, as I do every year. Of course, I always find myself very eager to get back into a daily routine by the end of our holiday, but I'm not thinking that far ahead at the moment. Maybe, just maybe , if the weather holds and we remain snow-free or without significant accumulation, I'll feel motivated to go for a walk or two with my camera. Something I've not done in a long time, though I always have the little Elph with me. So my countdown is on: Seven days till Derry's "Gotcha Day," eight days till the Solstice, nine days till I'm on holiday (I'm taking the 22nd off and the half-day on the 23rd), and a mere eleven days till Chri...

The boys! Maybe I'm noticing it more because they aren't going out much now, too chilly for their thick fur, apparently. But in the mornings the two of them mope around more often than not and I end up with the back of disrespect as I'm readying myself for work. Nicki's play time is from about 2AM to 3:30AM-ish -- till I get up. Then he eats breakfast, might step outside for a minute or two, then comes back in to curl up on his foot stool and refuses most attempts to lure him into further play. Derry's just as bad, running off upstairs for a while or hiding out down in the basement. I wish he wouldn't hang out down there, gives me bad flashbacks to Annie being sick. Then I get the "If you loved us you'd stay home and wait on us with your every breath" treatment. Of course, when I do get home I'm tired from my day and only want to crash, whereas they want food, attention, food, food, food and attention.  I can't win. I would say I...

Making reference to yesterday's post and what my doctor had said... Well, even before I left the house for work today, at 6AM, I said out loud that I couldn't wait to get home, get into my jammies and curl up with my book and my knitting. Rather grandmother-ish, I thought.  ;-P Have a terrific Friday, everyone. This is the Christmas card for our building custodian--we just signed it and it was so pretty I had to scan it in.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what we have to accept and what we don't. In my case I specifically mean health-related pain, but of course it applies to every aspect of life. As many of you know, I've had odd left groin and abdominal pain since late May/early June, and  I've spent the summer and fall having one test or another to try to pinpoint the cause. Three ultrasounds ruled out abnormal ovarian cysts and a hernia, and confirmed what I already knew: That I have a "million" gall stones. The surgeon doesn't feel I need my gall bladder out at this time, that my gall bladder hasn't been the cause of any of my discomfort. I don't have a stomach ulcer, had the breath test for the bacteria and it was negative. I've had an upper GI: negative. I've done the home test for colon cancer (a truly disgusting test, I pity the person who has to open these envelopes at the lab): also negative. I'm done with appointments now, thank ...

I just ran into someone who used to be a very good friend, though we drifted apart a few years ago and haven't spoken since. No falling out, just different interests and values. She was ahead of me in Starbucks, actually. I saw her going in to the café and thought, "Nah, that can't be so-and-so" and dismissed it from my mind. Didn't recognize her from the back or pay any attention to her at all until we were waiting for our drinks and she turned and saw me , spoke to me. If she hadn't said anything I truly don't think I'd have noticed. Very surreal, to make idle chitchat with someone who was so close at one time, but who essentially is a stranger now. Her hair is significantly shorter, coloured differently, but otherwise she looks the same, looks terrific, actually. She took a new, high management position with her department back in summer; I saw that posted on our HR site. "Funny" how these things happen when you feel like crap. (I have a...

I need another weekend to just collapse and do nothing. How can someone who has no family here be so busy? Friday's errands just rolled into Saturday, of course. I took the 6:20AM bus up to Wal-Mart (it's open 24/7 now, till Christmas) and spent two hours stocking up on litter, household items and getting half a month's supply of groceries. Cabbed home, with a full trunk and back seat. Whew. Then it was out again for more running around, picking up a few things here and there, plus a couple more grocery items I couldn't get at Wal-Mart. Home to laundry and more laundry, cooking and cleaning. It's a blur. Seriously. Today I went back to Wal-Mart and Zellers...for myself. The boys magically did a little bit of Christmas shopping for me for a change, and all on sale, too--aren't you impressed? They even helped wrapped everything up and put it under the tree. I suppose that's superbly silly, but I did it so they could have the fun of the paper and boxes on C...

It actually adds up to 136, which is how many cans of cat food I ended up lugging home on the bus today. Who needs the gym? I took the day off from work for errands, too much to do for just Saturday and Sunday. Very happily got the boys' ProPlan for half-price, three cases, only 65 cents per can, so I'm glad I popped in to check. (This was at PetValu, a store I used to shop in ages ago. They have new ownership and new staff, so I hope to frequent them now--they're more conveniently located for me than PetSmart is.) Then I did go to PetSmart--they had the one flavour of Fancy Feast I feed Nicki (Derry doesn't like the FF I offer) on sale for Pet Perks members, $0.60 per can instead of $0.73. And Zellers had Friskies on sale, which is all I give Toby (the mystery outdoor cat). Fifty cents a can instead of the usual 60+ cents. I have to go to Wal-Mart tomorrow AM for the boys' litter and food for myself, so I'll check the prices on Toby-food out there too. I...

Goodbye, November. You were a blur of work projects, appointments, and OCD worries over Derry. Thanks, though, for the amazing weather, last Wednesday's freezing rain and snow notwithstanding, of course. And thanks for a few amazing sunsets. Now, December, you could take a lesson from your "sibling" and bring us milder-than-usual temps too. You know, as your holiday gift to us. [No update on Anne today. As of last night she still was in Emerg, waiting for a bed in the cardiac unit. Thanks for your good thoughts, my friend will appreciate them.] Universal Blessings, Light and Mercy to All Beings.

I got a call from an out-of-town friend this morning, at the office. Her 85-year old mom, Anne, had a heart attack yesterday (plus has pneumonia), and their hospital transported her from their town about an hour away to our city's cardiac unit. The friend will stay with me tonight, then head to Ottawa tomorrow morning to pick up her sister and bring her back. Beyond that, I don't know what's happening, or even what the prognosis is. I haven't seen Anne in quite a few years, but I remember her well and hope she can pull through. She's a tough cookie, but age is a factor, and she's had other health issues recently too. I guess this post is just a reminder to savour those "strawberries," (see yesterday's post), because the "tigers" are ever-lurking. BTW, I'll apologize here, too, for not being able to leave comments right now on all the blogs the boys and I follow. I know it's "blogging without obligation," but I still f...

I'm impressed the tree's still up and intact, but it's early days yet. Ha. Derry has been producing normal output today, knock on wood. I spoke with his vet a short time ago to ask for a few days' worth of pain meds to have on hand, just in case of emergencies over evenings, weekends or holidays. It's a small price to pay for six months of peace of mind (six months is the shelf life). I'll pick up the syringes later this week, after we're paid. I hope I'll not have to use them, of course, but there's only the emerg clinic in the west end available in the off hours. And of course it costs almost $200 just to walk in the door. Not something I want to do unless it's a true emergency. And so another work week has begun. With my morning meeting and then physio appointment, I felt like I wasn't even in the office today. I'm toying with the idea of taking Friday off to get some things done, but I'll see how work goes over the next couple o...

Okay, so yesterday just after noon Derry made a quarter-sized pee clump in one of the boxes upstairs, then a normal clump in the second box. But a short time later, when I was in the basement, he came down and made a tiny, dime-sized clump. UTI recurrence! Never mind my blood pressure and stress levels--through the roof, that should go without saying. Then, around 7:30PM he made a normal clump downstairs (5cm x 5cm), no fuss. Whew , I thought. But 20 minutes later, he rushed upstairs into the newly-cleaned litter box and made another dime-sized clump, with a big meow. (As in ouch !) Have I slept? No. This morning, around 3:50AM (I got up just after 3AM because I was just lying there anyway), he did his business with no fuss or muss. So (a) I'm not sure what's going on--seems like a UTI recurrence to me, though perhaps not acute at this stage, and (b) I'd like to try something homeopathic (besides Cosequin) that does not have to be administered into the mouth like a pill...